4th

Have you ever felt so completely connected to someone that it literally made your body ache? With their every move - you move. Every breathe you take - they breathe. You have to constantly touch the other person, just to keep your heart from beating out of your chest.

It's the most intense, passionate, all consuming feeling in the world and I'm currently enraptured by the invasion.

I never intended for this to happen. I thought I had been in love before - a few times actually. This is completely different than anything I could ever imagine. This is the kind of love that people write about. All the stories finally make sense, because I'm suddenly living something I thought never existed.

When were together the pull is insatiable. I literally cannot stop myself from looking at him, touching his skin, taking in his intoxicating scent, or smiling at the thought of just getting to talk to him. The most amazing part isn't that all of this is happening to me - it's happening to both of us. Our future is crystal clear and the only thing I can imagine is spending the rest of my life in his arms.

Every moment is dramatic, as if planned by the greatest of screen or print gods. We fall into step, side by side, as he takes my hand and kisses it. The electricity that results is nothing short of addictive. I finally get what addiction truly is with each passing moment. The more I see him, the more difficult it becomes to be away from what I want the most. I get such a high off of being in the same room, that when we finally touch I feel like I might overdose.

It's all a bunch of white lies...

My lovelies so much has happened in such a short amount of time it's completely crazy. My world has been turned topsy turvy, right side up, and I have been to Wonderland. I'm a stronger girl, because of it.  Things have happened that I did not expect, nor ever ask. It's been dramatic, inspiring, fierce, & draining. I'm happy to lock myself in my room for the night. Still not alone, thanks to my phone, but nevertheless for the most part - alone!


So cliff notes version - in order, kinda...


1. Met a boy - A. We talked for hours on end. Literally! I think over the last few weeks we have raked up over 15 hours on the phone! And... have yet to meet. Complication #1 obvi.
2. Right before we leave (Sunday to leave on Wednesday) Ben emails. Yes, Ben. The one from July that I thought after one date I was madly and completely in love with... well he missed me, can't live without me, loves me... you get the gist. And after much consideration emailed him back. Surprisingly convinced by my mother... 
3. Trippy was fantastical!
         A. Ended up bringing Raven... :)
         B.  Talked to both boys entire trip
                      i. B and I picked up where we left off - COMPLETELY!
                     ii. A and I entered "friend" zone... or so I thought
4. Came home with many gorge gifts & a bf... :)
5. A had emergency surgery right after I told him about A.
         A. Things have blown up with A. He apparently had feelings for me, but was afraid to act. Now I'm with B and lost A? I don't wanna lose A, but I can't give up B.... bad situation!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Serial dater tells me tonight he loves me.
         A. SHIT!!!
7. I finally get to see B in 48 hours... I can't wait and I wanna see how things go in person. I need some clarification and a lot of answers right now...


And I saved the biggest news for all! I FINALLY TURNED 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!