Sunday, August 29


Have you ever felt so completely connected to someone that it literally made your body ache? With their every move - you move. Every breathe you take - they breathe. You have to constantly touch the other person, just to keep your heart from beating out of your chest.

It's the most intense, passionate, all consuming feeling in the world and I'm currently enraptured by the invasion.

I never intended for this to happen. I thought I had been in love before - a few times actually. This is completely different than anything I could ever imagine. This is the kind of love that people write about. All the stories finally make sense, because I'm suddenly living something I thought never existed.

When were together the pull is insatiable. I literally cannot stop myself from looking at him, touching his skin, taking in his intoxicating scent, or smiling at the thought of just getting to talk to him. The most amazing part isn't that all of this is happening to me - it's happening to both of us. Our future is crystal clear and the only thing I can imagine is spending the rest of my life in his arms.

Every moment is dramatic, as if planned by the greatest of screen or print gods. We fall into step, side by side, as he takes my hand and kisses it. The electricity that results is nothing short of addictive. I finally get what addiction truly is with each passing moment. The more I see him, the more difficult it becomes to be away from what I want the most. I get such a high off of being in the same room, that when we finally touch I feel like I might overdose.

Wednesday, August 18

It's all a bunch of white lies...

My lovelies so much has happened in such a short amount of time it's completely crazy. My world has been turned topsy turvy, right side up, and I have been to Wonderland. I'm a stronger girl, because of it.  Things have happened that I did not expect, nor ever ask. It's been dramatic, inspiring, fierce, & draining. I'm happy to lock myself in my room for the night. Still not alone, thanks to my phone, but nevertheless for the most part - alone!

So cliff notes version - in order, kinda...

1. Met a boy - A. We talked for hours on end. Literally! I think over the last few weeks we have raked up over 15 hours on the phone! And... have yet to meet. Complication #1 obvi.
2. Right before we leave (Sunday to leave on Wednesday) Ben emails. Yes, Ben. The one from July that I thought after one date I was madly and completely in love with... well he missed me, can't live without me, loves me... you get the gist. And after much consideration emailed him back. Surprisingly convinced by my mother... 
3. Trippy was fantastical!
         A. Ended up bringing Raven... :)
         B.  Talked to both boys entire trip
                      i. B and I picked up where we left off - COMPLETELY!
                     ii. A and I entered "friend" zone... or so I thought
4. Came home with many gorge gifts & a bf... :)
5. A had emergency surgery right after I told him about A.
         A. Things have blown up with A. He apparently had feelings for me, but was afraid to act. Now I'm with B and lost A? I don't wanna lose A, but I can't give up B.... bad situation!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Serial dater tells me tonight he loves me.
         A. SHIT!!!
7. I finally get to see B in 48 hours... I can't wait and I wanna see how things go in person. I need some clarification and a lot of answers right now...

And I saved the biggest news for all! I FINALLY TURNED 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 26

She's beautiful... in her simple little way.

My lovelies, I'm going on vacation. Can you guess where? Miss you already, xoxo.

Thursday, July 22

For A

Whatever you do, please don't break my heart.
I'm about to fall harder than ever before
and the thought of it ending, before it begins
is beyond devastating.
Heart wrenching, moving me on and on.
I can't take another lie
or sleepless night.
Just please keep in mind
before you tell me what I want to hear
and hopefully what you need to say -
I've been here before.
Seen this very door and thought I could go in,
but it was locked when I got there.
So please, whatever you do,
don't break my heart.

Wednesday, July 21


You go backwards, I go forwards. 

I can breathe so much clearer now 

- so don't go knockin' on my 

door, door, door...

Thursday, July 8

Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli LYRICS

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face


I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

Sunday, July 4

4th :)


Saturday, July 3

40 Dogs, Like Romeo & Juliet; Bob Schneider LYRICS

Well if I spell it out, if I get it out,
Will you hear me when I tell you about
What I have to say, before it gets too late?
It's not as easy as I said it'd be,
But thereÂ’s something right about you and me,
Something right about you and me.

Well youÂ’re the color of a burning brook,
YouÂ’re the color of a sideways look from an undercover cop in a comic book
YouÂ’re the color of a storm in June,
You're the color of the moon.
YouÂ’re the color of the night, thatÂ’s right,
Color of a fight - you move me.
YouÂ’re the color of the colored part of The Wizard of Oz movie.

We're like Romeo and Juliet,
We're like 40 dogs, cigarettes,
We're like good times that havenÂ’t happened yet but will.
And I can tell you where we're gonna be
When the whole world falls to the sea:
WeÂ’ll be livinÂ’ ever after, happily.

All the boys taking you for granted,
Tell you what they want with their eyes all slanted.
I donÂ’t like the way they look at you,
I donÂ’t like the way they talk to,
I donÂ’t like the way they talk to you.
I wouldnÂ’t let 'em talk to you like that.

Put 'em up high, reach for the ceiling.
Tell them that I'ma walk, damn it, I'm real,
And it ain't no crime, it's just dreams weÂ’re stealing -
Anything to get more of this feeling

You take the high and I'll take the low,
We'll get there before you know.
We ain't got no time to waste,
We got too much life to taste.

We're like Romeo and Juliet,
And 40 dogs, cigarettes,
We're like good times that havenÂ’t happened yet but will.
And I can tell you where we're gonna be
When the whole world falls to the sea:
WeÂ’ll be livinÂ’ ever after, happily.

Sometimes you remind me of a moonbeam,
On the ghost of a moonbeam out on the beach,
Down by the coast, slip into Manila,
Like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Come out tonight, come out with me, baby.
We'll throw the careful into the crazy,
Turn the sky black into a sky blue,
Turn the close shave into a hoo-hoo.
What I say is true, make a fire, gotta burn a few,
Make a fire, gotta burn a few,
We can do what we want to do.

We're like Romeo and Juliet, 40 dogs, cigarettes,
We're like good times that havenÂ’t happened yet but will.
I can tell you where we're gonna be
When the whole world falls to the sea:
WeÂ’ll be livinÂ’ ever after, happily.

Dear Lost

It seems like it's been so long since I've seen you. I can still your face when I close my eyes and hear your voice. It kills me with every breathe I take, that your not here. I dressed up in all black and played the role one more time today. Being there and watching tears fall brought back so many memories. I'm torn as I keep living and you can only watch from above. I will never stop missing you or wishing that you were here with me. Your together now, but so far from me. I'm not just living for myself anymore and I can't help, but second guess all of my decisions that I make. Would you be proud?

Obsession Alert!

Dear credit card, Please stop being so easy to use. You are the sluttiest thing in my wallet.


Omg I'm already thinking the L word... wtf is wrong with me! I have never ever ever ever fallen this fast for anyone! We are breaching dangerous territory, kittens! He's talking moving in eventually and I'm picking out imaginary couches...

Could this be it?


L is for the way you look at me...

AMAZING date last night. ;) Uh oh, my lovelies, I'm head over heels with this one.

Thursday, July 1

A little inspiration...


HAPPY 401st Post, Lovies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The real reason...

And for the real reason I watch the Twilight saga............KELLEN LUTZ!

Bite Me

I'm sorry, but I have to join in on the madness... Eclipse was fantastic! The best of the three movies so far!!!


I'm in a good place if seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.
The thought of you gives me chills.
You are the last thing that I want.
The last thing that I need.
So happy I'm done.
And over.
I can't believe I ever wanted something so ridiculous.
I must have been high
or drugged beyond belief.
The last thing I want to imagine is you,
even just sitting next to me.
The sound of your voice makes me cringe.
Seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.
Seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.
Seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.
Seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.
Seeing you, FINALLY, makes me sick.

Tuesday, June 29


You know your online dating life is complete when...
1. You get hit on by a wanna be storm trooper (As in he follows others around that dress up as storm troopers, because he can't afford the suit... - YES THIS MEANS YOU JOEY!)
2. Your told you smell good by the looks of your profile picture
3. Your asked to get naked, instead of an apparently old fashioned, "hello".

On the bright side... (I know I don't usually go there haha)
1. Met a wonderful boy named Ben.
2. Met a pretty boy named Ron.
3. Met a needy boy named Sean.

Saturday, June 26

Here we go again...

While I'm busy waiting for Hugh Dancy to propose I figured I would give my other options a try...
(They are so many it's crazy!!!)

First off - there are countless websites devoted to helping you in your online dating.
Love Nation  The Dating Revolution
Including a website for hire that completely takes control for you! E Flirt

Areyouinterested: (Joined)
Facebook affiliate... used in the past... several relationships (failed!!!) have resulted from this...

Zoosk : (Joined)


Ok Cupid : (Joined)

Her Way : (Joined)

The Dating Revolution : (Joined)

Step Number One:
Choose the picture!!!Zoosk

Mr. Wonderful

You know it's bad when your mother suggests you join eharmony...

During (what seems like an on going, never going to ever stop) conversation with my mother in the car today - she suggested I try a dating site. Apparently, upon my turning 21 at the end of the summer, my mother is becoming worried about my chances of finding Mr. Wonderful. Translation - grandchildren.

Eh hem, I am only 20. Yes, I have felt this pangs, slightly... however, the fact that it is also worrying her - worries me.

So to subscribe or not to subscribe? Puzzled... need help kittens!

So lately...

All that sparkles

Hello my kittens! I'm sitting in the hospital emergency room... another staff infection thanks to my lovely kiddies at work. I sincerely hate waiting more than anything in the world.
I guess its time I let you all know Big is history. Long and bloody story involving my heart being shattered. I am, however, excited to be starting at square one. N

Monday, June 21

Surviving Big

Today has been a week since I talked to Big. I can honestly say it has not been easy, but the more time I spend away from him - the easier it gets. I know i that some part of me will always love him, just because. However, I now have no regrets. I told him how I felt and asked him to choose me. He didn't. I'm actually okay with that surprisingly. I know someone will be put in my life, that is completely devoted to me. It's just not him. I can breathe easy with that fact. Some relationships are just temporary. Accepting that is the hard part.... Later my lovelies, xoxo.

Tuesday, June 15


Baby let's make love and watch Leave it to Beaver in bed for hours on end.
It's been one of those days where I'm beyond exhausted
and the only thing I want or need is you by my side.
So kiss me hard, long, and deep.
Keep me going and shut the blinds.
Nothing else could make me happier
than you saying forever.