I'm wondered a lot about the different relationships that I have with people today...
There is my wonderful family, the closeness I share with my aunt and the familiarity of my mother. My little dog, that knows all my secrets just by looking at me.
Then there are the people that I meet from the parking lot at school, getting on the bus, to trolly along to class. These interactions are quiet, but understood, and completely predictable.
I get to class and the girl I sit with has saved me a seat. We don't talk about anything deep, but there is an innate comfortable feeling.
I go onto my next class, where I switch roles and save a seat for quiet boy. He comes in almost late everyday and we have a spoken and unspoken routine, in which we greet each other and continue a conversation from last week. I wish I felt more attraction for him, because I know we would be good together. Sadly, he is more like my lovable brother than anything else... things would be so much easier.
Then there are the casual texters. MN has become quite the regular. I'm afraid as more time passes, he's going to be harder and harder to get rid of. I can spot it now, the break from him won't be pleasant. He has attached himself to me quickly and is already trying to get me to say the dreaded "L" word. I oblige his texts, occasionally. I almost feel bad at the fact that I'm not sincere in my replies. Then, I move on.
I heard from Nick today. I don't know if I have given him a nickname, so I will just use his real name until something better comes along. I deeply care about him and find it hard to keep things casual. We have had two classes together over the past year and our bond became strong, quick. This is the second time we have talked to each other since, Easter. It was just a quick conversation and it left me wanting more. I wanted to keep replying, but didn't want to seem too eager. Now, I wish I would have continued talking to him.
I talked to serial dater yesterday. A friendly 'hey', turned into him calling me sexmuffin and me treading on icy tracks. Very easily I could breakup his engagement... very easily... I'm not going to, at least not yet. He will do it on his own and then come running back, like he always does. It's our pattern.
I haven't heard from the cowboy or STB in a while. I got bored with them and I guess the feeling was mutual.
And finally, on to Mr. Big. We have continued our month long running, lunch time, hour long, conversation - yesterday and today. This seems to be our new pattern. In addition to our good mornings and good nights, we now find it impossible to stay away from each other in the middle of the day. Like clock work he calls me everyday between 12:30 and 1. And before either one of us know it, an hour has gone by, and I could have sworn it was only 5 minutes. I'm so screwed... friend or more he's all I want.
I don't know where to go from here or how I should really be feeling about everything, but I'm trying to be content for now.
