Okay... so today was long and sucky. Here's the low down...
School was okay... C and I almost fell asleep in english!
Saw shorts on the bus today! He didn't see me... :/
Met Nin for lunch... then red for tea. I was late... and then she was late. It was like 10 min of her talking... :(
Work was okay until Vivi left me again to run her own errands... wtf I know! Then one of the kids grandparents forgot to pick her up so I was there 30 minutes late. Then I got stuck in like the worst traffic jam ever and it took me over an hour to get home!
While I was on my way home the serial dater started texting again... so here's the long version -
He started texting last night and wanted me to come over. After some serious messaging we stopped talking. I lied and told him I was out of town.
So tonight he texts me and bluntly asks for me to not only come over, but for a bj... I start to tease him and say why that was blunt. After asking him what kind of girl he thought I was he replied - the kind of girl you make yourself out to be.
This pushed me over the edge. Appropriately tilted, because he thinks his nickname is the Edge. Yes, I realize he has many more issues than just believing me to be easy, slut, whore, etc...
This woke me up completely. Here I am flirting with a guy that is on a binge from his gf/fiance whatever the hell she is and I am allowing him to talk dirty to me... even complying. He doesn't know me well enough to call me this or have the perception of me. I certainly do not know enough about him to be talking to him this way.
I'm left to ask myself what the fuck do I keep making these mistakes in the first place? I keep getting put in positions I shouldn't find myself in. I keep choosing these losers who make me think they are good guys and secretly, or not so secretly in most cases, they are anything but the good guys. Although at this point it is looking like even the good guys are the bad guys.
The only thing I can say, is thank you to serial dater boy. Thank you for waking me up, before I did something else that I will regret.
Jones and I talked on the way home and decided that we both need to lay off awhile on men in general. This is easier said than done. I really do need to take a big break. I keep saying I'm going to, but I'm not actually following through. I need to follow through. NOW. I'm done with this nonsense.
On a positive note - I have gotten sooooooooooo much positive feedback about the MADD walk! So many people have volunteered and today I got my first donation! My fifth grade teacher donated a $100. It literally made me cry. I've heard from so many people I hadn't talked to in a long time. It has been fantastic to see how many people care and want to help make a difference! I have a centimeter of hope left in humanity!
Oh and I almost forgot... Mr. S and I talked for awhile today when he picked up F. He's off limits. I get it. Single. Like it. Single. Like it. Keep telling myself!
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