At Last...

I think I totally aced my Blue Planet test this morning!!! I have finally found the one science class I can actually stomach, pass, and (gasp) enjoy?! I got out early of course, it only took 25 minutes to take the test, so I ditched english and went for a little drive.
I basically road tripped by myself for 3 hours. It was awesome! I've never really done anything like that before. I stopped at the gas station and got ciggies, went to starbucks, and just started driving. Before you freak about the aforementioned ciggies, I only smoked one (and not in it's entirety). The remainder are in a box in my trunk for a rainy day. I think I'm finally over my tiny obsession.
I drove all over. To the outskirts of town and lost myself in my own thoughts. It was so refreshing and therapeutic. I was feeling so depressed this morning about everything. I had nightmares last night about Ashley, Mr. Big, & oddly enough Jones. I am so glad I had today just to be by myself and forget everything else. I still have to go work, but not for another hour or so.
I went into a few stores and just browsed. I had intentions to buy, if fancied, but nothing (surprise I know) caught my eye. I don't wanna do what people expect me to anymore and I think today was a good example of that. I didn't tell anyone where I was, I just went. I know it may not sound like much, but for someone who is constantly living life under what feels like a microscope, it was exciting. I liked doing something for me for once. If I wanted to take a right turn I did. If I wanted to go left I swerved. (Safely of course, while doing my best impression of a Nascar driver).
I felt genuine emotions for the poor designer bags thrust into the uncaring hands of a second hand stores and discount houses. I never go into these places, but I did today with blunt curiosity. I found sad works of heart, strewn on a plastic rack. It broke my heart to see designer after designer just tossed aside with a clearance sticker. Most of the handles tarnished and finished warn, I left without saving one.
Lately I've been taking risks and I can't imagine why I haven't done it in the past. I'm tired of just doing what I'm told and not thinking for myself. That part of my life is over. I am only going to do things that I am all for. I'm also going to try and be completely honest, with everyone - mostly myself.
When I got home I took Maggey for a drive. We went and got the most amazing Italian food. She was so cute - sitting on my lap while I drove and occasionally sticking her head out the window. It amazes me to see the world through her eyes. She's so little and gets so excited by the simplest thing. Lucky dog.
I've decided I'm completely over Mr. Big, whether my heart wants to be or not. I started thinking about all of the shitty things he's done and I'm mentally beating myself up, because I even considered taking him back. Wifey was right, he's a douche. He always has been and at this point always will be. I really think I mean it this time...
On a sadder note - so devastated one of my favorite designers died today, Alexander McQueen. He was a visionary and he will be missed by the fashion community.