Thursday, February 4

The Nice Guy Gets Screwed

So explain to me why no girl ever chooses the nice guy? You know the one;
1. He's not the hottest guy, he may not even be cute
2. He's one of the sweetest people you will ever meet, but you think of him as a brother
3. He's the one that does nice things just because he can
4. He remembers to do something that will make you smile
5. He sees you in that light that puts you up on the highest pedestal.
The cynical part of me says immediately you don't choose him, because there is no such thing as a nice guy. However, even I know that is not true. Hopefully...
You don't choose him, because there's nothing there, right? Here's the truth. You complain that there is no connection - no spark, but let me tell you something, your wrong. A spark is nothing, but this thing that women have generated to describe their passion and intrigue that they feel for the bad boy. That gut feeling that tells you your doing something wrong and that he's really not a good person, let alone someone you should love is the spark. This is the same feeling that makes you nervous every time you say his name, look at him, or dare speak to him. It's guilt - not a spark.
My darling, beautiful, smart, charismatic cousin got the most enticing offer today a girl could ever dream. She was greeted at dinner with a small homeade box at her seat, which contained inside joke artifacts. However, instead of feeling nothing but flattered and in love, she felt smothered and a little creeped out. This is because the grand romantic jester was not in fact from the hottie 5th year, but a lonely boy with no friends in her grade. This boy is not handsome, but rather weird looking. He rarely says the right thing to attract friends, but sticks to himself and has had to become his own best friend, because of his different interests. Instead of boasting to me tonight, about her not so secret admirer, she was left complaining about how to let the token loser down.
Now, I'm not saying she was not grateful, even flattered, and deeply concerned about hurting him, but the only thing I could think of is why the hell is she not thrusting herself at the first semi decent guy that makes an effort. Okay, so I don't know him. Maybe he's not the good guy, maybe he's like all other guys and is just another bad one, but maybe he's not. What's to say he is or isn't? Is not giving him the chance, missing out on something we all search for? Am I reaching to think that just because he is a geek is ultimately a nice person and thus, worthy of my fabulous relations affections?
I guess I'm frustrated with myself. How can I give worthy advice about love, when I genuinely fail at it on a daily basis. I'm in love with someone that doesn't exist. I have put all of my infatuations and idealizations onto someone that I should have been in love with, but in reality couldn't stand. I tend to forget this fact. Often. Maybe my defense and sarcasm about the subject was just a mask for every feeling of angst and regret on my part, and not in fact on the part of Martha Stewart Boy. However, I was overshadowing what I really wanted - someone that was the good guy to make me an origami box and confess his undying love, simply because he could.
I don't know if I will ever stop searching for true love or hoping that everyone else in my life has it as well. Selfishly I hope I have it first, so I don't slit my wrists in jealousy... I'm just so tired of failed relationship stories. I wanna hear about a happy endings, that's true and genuine. Maybe I just need to shut up and watch a Disney movie. Forget about being bitter and bite my tongue, not in disgust, but in awe at cartoons that know how to get love right.

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