Needed release...

I am so emotionally and physically exhausted I can't see straight. My heart hurt so much, I can't describe. I have lost the only two people in the world I was every brutally honest with, and they replied openly.
Today was Ashley's dedication ceremony. The geology building put a plaque up in her honor. The dean of students also presented her family with her diploma, cords, and further degrees. It was everything she would have wanted and so much more. Mom reminded me when he left that she would have been so excited she graduated before me.
Her entire family has stopped referring to me as a friend, but as another relative. We sat with her grandma and quiet boy. I was so glad he came. The girl who never showers and harbored lesbian tendencies came too, but she barely spoke to me. She has hence emailed and apologized for her abrupt behavior. This was not necessary, because she should have known that over the duration of six years I am more than well aware of her inability to communicate to others.
Mom hinted at the chemistry between quiet boy and I. I laughed it off and blamed his inadequate nature with social involvement. I have noticed how much more were talking, but I really think we drawn to each other out of familiarity more than anything. It's nice seeing someone twice a week and talking even more, that I've known for so long.